Bought a packet of cigg on thursday out of anger and I finished it on saturday. I smoked 9 sticks on thursday, I was pretty shock with that amount myself. I was smoking during friday midnight and I was asking myself what I was doing lol. I still remember I totally hate smoking and I still remember vividly how I started smoking. It's really laugh out loud. Having to be shock by the amount of ciggarettes I can smoke per day, I realised I'm a pretty heavy smoker? I guess I will die with some disease someday, it's only a matter of time. It's really inevitable for a smoker. I just don't want to die with regrets.
From packet to stick to none. I'm trying to cut it down. Thanks for the trust you had in me. Sorry that I disappoint you. I lost the trust you had in me. I hope one day I will gain back that trust from you again. And yes I must!
Rainbow Madness; 4:02 PM
;Sunday, November 22, 2009
I'm sorry that i've broken my promise upteen time. When will I ever stop? Enlighten me.
Wake up pretty early today just to attend an alma mater hi-tea season at my former secondary school. Had buffet for 23 bucks there, really laugh out loud. Took some pictures with our teachers and vandalised the school cause it's gonna be tear down at the end of this year. Memories.
Finally went to my uncle's funeral. It's pretty sad to see my cousin who is only sec 1 to lose a father like that. He is strong and sensible, hear my story. On the day my uncle died, he didn't cry. In fact, he went to console his mom and grandma. But when he got home, he cried infront of his mom and said,"Daddy is no longer with us anymore". Life is so short man. Cherish.
Didn't go to school today. No motivitation, got PP poster to rush. Went for UT. Was almost late for it, thanks Elaine for the 6Ps. Went to work. Boring as always, pay yet to be recieved ccb. Went to meet Wenjie and ZhiWei. Find Bestie, cause I really miss her alot. Went to eat supper with Bestie. So long since we had a good night. Went Home. Waiting for Dota now! Yet another day.
Uncle passed away yesterday, mom is very sad. Hope everyone will stay strong and move on. Bestie didn't come school due to work. I miss her alot. Wenjie having fever, and it hit 40 degree celsius. Hope he recover fast! UT was pretty okay, just that we do not have enough time. Sucks ttm. Work was tiring, was sitting the same place near a pretty girl. But she's attached LOL! Sigh, what a day.
Today is gonna be so boring! First, I'm in school without Bestie! Secondly, I have UT after school! Thirdly, I have work after UT! And everything spells B-O-R-I-N-G! I need my rememdy Bestie!!!
I'll turn off the lights and let you sleep Just close your eyes relax and breathe, In slowly, no, don't feel lonely Cause, I'll be right here, by your side If you should awake into the night, Keep dreaming Cause I'll be keeping
Your, heart in mine, Don't you know I'll always be near Even in the hardest time, Don't you know I'm always right here When you're feeling lost Don't give up because, It's alright, When you close your eyes, I'm by your side
Remember the days when we would drive, Into the night we'd watch the skies, of summer, So full, of colour and, Remember the days when waves would roll, Up on the beach to touch our toes, On soft sand, My hand, in yours and,
Your heart in mine Don't you know I'll always be near Even in the hardest times Don't you know I'm always right here When you're feeling lost Don't give up, because it's alright When you close your eyes, I'm by your side
Laying flat on our backs We stared up at the sky We were laughing so hard, We had tears in our eyes Our future's before us Our worries behind, Just you and I
I'll turn off the lights and let you sleep, Just close your eyes, relax and dream,
And keep your heart in mine Even in the hardest times, When you're feeling lost Don't give up, because it's alright, It's alright When you're feeling lost Don't give up because it's alright When you close your eyes, I'm by your side, I'm by your side, mhm.
Sometimes I wish that I am more useful for you and a little more understanding to your needs and wants. I tried my best, but yet I feel so helpless and useless.
This week seems to pass real fasttt! Probably cause I didn't go to school tuesday and off day on wednesday! Thursday is alittle draggy tho, I slept in the office and watched TV but made a few calls tho cause manager wasn't around. Like shiok only. Tonight is gonna be a little busy^^ cause tml is gonna be fun ttm! Anyway, Bestie cheer up! I will do anything to cheer you up cause I have a heart that is always aching to see you smile! Remember that! <3
Omg, UT later. I'm so fucking sleepy now. Work later! Can't wait for saturday, cause I just wanna go out! Coming saturday will be Bestie's "last" weekend for the whole november. I will definitely miss going out with you during weekend :( Alright, Back to sleep now!
I remember what you wore on our first day You came into my life And I thought hey You know this could be something 'Cause everything you do and words you say You know that it all takes my breath away And now I'm left with nothing
So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you And maybe two is better than one But there's so much time, to figure out the best in my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking two, is better than one
I remember every look upon your face, The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste You make it hard for breathing 'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away I think of you and everything's okay And finally now, believing
And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you Well maybe two is better than one But there's so much time, to figure out the best in my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking two, is better than one
Yeah, yeah
I remember what you wore on our first day You came into my life And I thought hey
Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you Maybe two is better than one But there's so much time, to figure out the best in my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking
Oooh I can't live without you 'Cause baby two is better than one There's so much time, to figure out the best in my life And I've figured out with all that's said and done Two, is better than one
I can never be the perfect Bestie. I'm so sorry that I hurt you AGAIN. I am not sensitive enough to be your Bestie. Sometimes I wish that I am not your Bestie at all, Especially when I am hurting you. So that the amount of damage dealt is not so great. Because I never really want to hurt you at all. But stiil, I did it times and again. I looked at myself with such disdain. I shouldn't be forgiven at all. But I have something to say. I'm sorry.
I'm always looking forward to yesterday! Saturday! When I can spend quality time with you! Did we Bestie? Cause I think we did. We had lunch to movie to dinner to telling you some secret! Also Bestie, I'm really thankful for that green light you gave me. I hope you seriously allow me to do it that moment. I don't wish to disappoint you too. And I love you ttm bestie!
Through the trees I will find you; I will heal the ruins left inside you. Cuz I'm still here breathing now I'm still here breathing now... I'm still here breathing now... until I'm set free. Go quiet through the trees.
We have walked this far bestie. I really do appreciate everything that you have done for me. I'm glad that you too have also appreciate the things that I've done for you. The little misunderstanding we had today, have warn us to be strong and be more understanding towards each other. Once again I'm sorry, I love you bestie and we have more to go!
I didn't like it when I hear people saying that I was taken for granted. I didn't like it because it was you whom they are referring. I made the effort to do it for you. I understand the reason behind it. But apparently, I see it differently today. Just because of what you've said. I choose not to believe what they say. Because the trust I have for you is strong. But seriously, I hope you do appreciate it every morning.
What are the inevitables in life that you hate it to happen?
Rainbow Madness; 1:31 AM
;Tuesday, November 3, 2009
It's gonna be end of year real soon. True enough, I've wasted too much time this year. I've done things that I shouldn't do, I've yet to do things that I should be doing. I realised that I've so many people to thank for, And also I've so many people to apologise to. Just plain regrets. My life seems like a roller coaster ride, There are ups, There are downs. Definitely cherish the ups, But learning from the downs. History seems to repeat itself this year, But definitely not gonna let it happen next year. Life is never easy, Life is never hard too. But it's really painful to sit on the fence, Throughout the entire life. I didn't like my life at all, Neither do I hate it. We'd try to live our fullest, But shit do bring us down at time. People come and go, It's definitely great to have them coming. But if you have to go, Please let me know and go. Just remember to bring part of me. Memories is perferable to sadness. This world is cold. But you don't have to go. Cause we all bleed the same way as you do, And we all have the same things to go through. Just hold on if you feel like letting go now, Just wait til next year.