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THY;

HongYong
Republican
26 Aug 1990
Horny

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;Sunday, July 30, 2017

After so much distraction, I still can't get you out of my mind.

Really wish to pour my heart out to you and hear what you really have to say to me. But I doubt anything is gonna change.

Remember you saying our role is the exact opposite of what you had with him.

It's just 2 months and I'm still not moving on. I can't imagine what you must had felt when you parted with him.

Well, at least you are having him back.






Rainbow Madness; 6:51 PM

;Saturday, July 29, 2017

What if one of us had to be eliminated so that everyone will be happy?
I will volunteer to be the one that will be eliminated.

Alot of time, I tried to do so but something just keep holding me back.

Right before it started, we kept trying to part but only to come back to square one.

Tired of running in circle, we decided to move forward together.
Even so, you weren't happy. I can see it from your face.
The face of what ifs. So often that I even dreamt about it and fear of losing you which eventually did.

Again, I tried to eliminate myself in between, but something keep holding me back.

Was it love that was holding me back?

How I wish to hear you say that you made a mistake.


Rainbow Madness; 12:31 AM

;Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Alot of time, I almost had the courage to fight.
But at the same time, I lack the strength to recover from another heart break and rejection.
So I choose to keep quiet and keep walking on.

Rainbow Madness; 11:51 PM

;Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Hey, nice dress you are wearing.
It will be a shame if nobody ain't taking you out for the night.
Someone should be, and no it won't be me.

Rainbow Madness; 9:33 PM

;Sunday, July 16, 2017

It was a good weekend.

To be able to see you, play and laugh with you.

I'm trying my best not to expect anything from it. Maybe unknowingly I have fallen into the friendzone. Hopefully not.

I will just count my blessing everyday.

Ohwells.

我自作多情吗?

Rainbow Madness; 10:48 AM

;Monday, July 10, 2017

I don't think there is anything to lose rigbt? Guess I'll give it a last try.

Rainbow Madness; 12:40 AM

;Sunday, July 2, 2017

I remember clearly the first time I bumped into you was at the side pantry and you spoke to corn. You kinda caught my eyes. Out of my league but also not exactly my type of girl at first sight.

The first introduction came and we shook hands and I thought it was pretty awkward.

Everything was fun and simple back then. I kinda had a crush on you, but I saw your calendar - you had a boyfriend. Even so, I still stuck around you, for some reason, we had good chemistry and we clicked well. Going back smoking was a reason for me to get closer.

I felt something was strong between us but I kinda brush off the idea as you were still attached.

But that one faithful night happened, you confessed. My first emotional state was shock, as I did nothing to make you fall for me. But there were you, a girl out of my league, confessing to me. I kinda let it sink into me for a couple of days. I just wanna make sure that you were sure sbout what you want.

Slowly, we kinda went into the "dating" phase. But it didn't turn out well as you were still attached.

But our feelings were so strong that we ended up cheating.

Til today, I still regret doing so. Maybe things will turn out better if we choose to do it in a honest manner.

Then one day, you made your decision to break up with him.

It wasn't so smooth sailing after all. You couldn't let go of your past relationship despite so adamant that you wanted happiness with me. We both tried so hard, it was emotionally draining for you and I invested everything I could to help you too. I can feel the distant, less holding hands, some hesitation from you, and no more I love you from you.

From the beginning, all you needed was someone to be understanding, and I can do is to be understanding. Even when you stop loving me and sometimes I feel so foolish.

I kept revisiting our facebook message as that is the only conversation left for me that brings back memories.

All I see is a loving couple, needing some time to set themselves ready for something great. But you were never ready. I'm partly to be blamed for pushing it so hard too.

But hey, we did create some great memories. From maplestory, to my birthday and your birthday and many more.

So much had happened within a year and I still ask myself, do I not stand a chance at all? What have possibly went wrong between us? What was holding you back to someone vs someone else that treat you right?

Especially that night, if I stopped you from going and we talk things out, probably you might have woken up from your oblivous state and things might be better from there on. Perhaps I was too understanding at the wrong timing. Naively thinking that it will be a closure for you, well it turn out to be something else instead.

And I chanced upon you blog, it says you will do anything and everything to go back to where you used to be. It hurts so bad. So much that I wish I have the similar effect on you.

I know that your heart is still with him, but you have my heart too.

I know this is very wrong, I should be moving on instead of circling in and out of this.

Only time will tell what will happen.

Really hope that one day, I will come back here and be writing something different.

以后别做朋友 朋友不能牵手
想爱你的冲动 我只能笑着带过
最好的朋友 有些梦 不能说出口
就不用承担 会失去你的心痛

忍住失控 太折磨 我自作自受
回忆都是我 好不了的伤口



I miss you, and I love you.

Rainbow Madness; 12:46 AM

;Saturday, July 1, 2017

There you are online on skype, here I am sitting infront of my laptop.

Trying so hard to strike a conversation.

But it's not the normal kind conversation that I wanna make.

Knowing that you won't be interested, and your heart is never gonna be mine..

All I can do is to stare blankly at the screen thinking of all the good times we had.

Rainbow Madness; 9:15 PM