Squirt on your mama!

;Tuesday, June 13, 2017

What used to be late night call is now fighting the urge to tell you that I missed you.
What used to be morning journey of texting is now listening to good music to keep myself sane.
What used to be a good weekend spent with you is now self improvement and healing.

Do you know how it feels like to bury someone alive 10 feet under and to hear him crying every night, knowing that he is still alive and needs help.

Yes, scary and creepy.
I didn't want to do it, but I have to kill him.

Everyday I had to put on a mask, but deep down it's killing me. Being still able to see you at work serve both comfort and pain.

Comfort that I'm still able to be there for you, and you physical by my side.
Pain knowing that physically you are here but your heart is never here. It pains me more to know that you are probably texting him.

But what makes you happy, it's always worth the pain right?

I know it has to stop someday and I know I have to move on. I just gotta find a way out, maybe there really is a way out.

Not that I didn't try, I deleted photos, phone messages, but I just couldn't bare to delete our facebook message.

Maybe one day, it will be a true indication that I've really moved on.

Wait, maybe she is still figuring out? There might be a second chance!

Yeah, that's what my heart says everyday. My head will tell it to stop.

There is no way you can put it clearer to me anymore. I no longer have that attraction.

But still I wonder why.

Rainbow Madness; 10:12 PM